Sex conversations to read
Sex conversations to read
And something is wrong right now: I don’t feel like you’re really considering me, and while I understand you might be feeling defensive, I need to be heard – more than your friends – if we’re going to keep having sex. It’s not my problem if normal sex doesn’t work for you.What I am saying is that when you’re finished, most of the time I’m not, and I need you to either care more about that, or if you already do, to show me that you care by asking if I’m finished, and when I’m not, by asking what else I want to do. You: You know, this is a hard talk for me to have, too, but with you being this angry about it, I don’t feel like we can have it right now.
But maybe we could start with some of it today and just take it from there? And, umm…I’m glad you think you want to have sex with me.When we have sex together, it feels like it’s all about how or when you get off and not about me, too. I mean, you’re there and I’m touching you, aren’t I?My friends say girls like it the way we do it just fine, and the ones that don’t just have something wrong with them.Later on we can get to the stuff that’s going to make me feel like a dope. When we have sex together, it feels like it’s all about how or when you get off and not about me, too. And I have been enjoying myself, just not all the time, and just not to the point where I’m feeling as good as you are, or getting to an orgasm, like you do.But now that you know, can I tell you what I need some more of, and can we talk about how we might do things differently from here on out? Alternate Conversation: You: I want to talk to you about something that’s been bothering me, and it isn’t easy to talk about, but I need to. You: Well, I keep feeling like maybe you don’t understand that just because you’re finished with sex, that doesn’t mean I am.And since I didn’t what it seems to say about you is that you have a girlfriend who needs to work on speaking up.
And until we talk about what I think I’ll like more, I don’t think it makes sense to make this about you, you know?
I’m still feeling kind of funny about all of this, and it might take me a little time to feel really comfortable again with sex, but I would like to talk about what you like for the next time, and I’m really sorry you felt like you had to pretend. You: I’m cool going to the bedroom if you want to, but I don’t feel like it’s time for me to step things up yet. Them: But we’ve been going out for a while now, it just feels right, and you’re so sexy right now. You: Hey, I’m glad you think I’m sexy: I think you’re hot, too.
And while I also really care about you, it doesn’t feel right for me yet. You: I’ve been thinking a lot about sex with you if it’s something you’d like to do with me, too.
Please just be honest with me when you don’t want to do something, okay? But I’m trying, here, and this is tough for me, too. And I just feel like a loser for thinking things were so good for you when they weren’t, and because what does it say about me if I can’t make you come?
You: Well, unless I told you they weren’t, you couldn’t have known.
Maybe I’m afraid of hurting your feelings, or of embarrassing myself.